Failure as a Measure of Success

We did it...we packed up and moved to
Steamboat. What will I not put off this year
As the year comes to an end I started thinking back on my goals for this past year. By the numbers my running was pretty unsuccessful. My yearly mileage and vertical was the lowest its been in years, I haven't run a long run in longer than I care to admit and I didn't run a single ultra. In fact I barely even raced. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. I need to be training, to get a routine and feel like I'm making progress. But the reality was this was a cutback year. Life took a priority to running.

We had a baby. Moved. Changed careers. Bought a business. You could say its been busy. While I know things will settle down and I'll be able to get back to training sometimes its hard to see how that will happen.

I looked over last years goals and even though it feels like I wasn't close to achieving any goals this year in reality I wasn't that far off.

Welcome to the world and
Leadville little girl!
I added more strength...hell I've been to the gym to workout more times than I have in the last 10 years combined. And it paid off for the start of snowboard season for sure.

While I didn't set a masters course record I did win a 5k! Never would have imagined that. It was still a far cry from my 5k PR but it was a solid time and realistically I'm not sure I'll ever break my collegiate 5k PR. I just don't train for it and have no desire to either. So I'd say this one was actually pretty close.

The thing that I'm almost most disappointed about it that High Lonesome 100 sold out in 9 minutes or something close to that. Needless to say I didn't get in.
5k victory at 4 months postpartum

But interesting enough was the Warren Miller quote I noted in my goals for 2018. We nailed that one. We didn't wait another year. For better or worse we didn't put off starting the next phase of our life for a million reasons. We went for it. We packed up, moved and are making things work in Steamboat. I know more changes are on the horizon, but I also know that as hard as its been it was the right choice for us.

So what's next? What does 2019 hold? I may not be able to answer that, but I know I'm looking toward 2019 with big goals in mind. I haven't figured out how I will get there. More days than not still feel like there is no way I'll ever be able to train again. I have to remind myself that I felt this way the year after Robert was born as well. What I do know is no matter how unreasonable it seems in this moment I have to try. I have to set some lofty goals and try to find a way there. Maybe I won't make it to the start line of Run Rabbit next year. But I'm registered. As a hare. I'm going to hang onto that and challenge myself to get there. So while I want more than anything to sit here and share that I have these amazing time goals for next year those goals will come later.

For now my goals are to:

  • find a way to make forward progress in life but mostly with running; however little progress it is as long as I'm moving forward I'll be happy.
  • not give up on trying to get in shape for Run Rabbit, this is a daunting task to just get to the start line. I haven't been this out of shape endurance-wise since before I started running ultras. So regardless of how long it takes if I can stand at the base of the gondola on Sept 13th with a pair of Terraventures strapped to my feet I'll be pretty damn proud.
  • work on the whole balance thing...I'm not expecting to figure it out, but there has to be something better than what I'm currently doing. I need to get back to meal prep...not sure where I'll find those hours to get it done, but it helps so much. I need to find a way to keep the house clean. 
  • I'd also really like to read, sleep, shower more than twice a week, and in general find a way to take some time for myself, not just running either. I know these are super reach goals and I'm probably 18 years away from even considering them, but I also know if I could shower and get dressed in real clothes once in awhile I'd probably feel more like I was making progress in life.
2018 has taken us on some great adventures...thrown us some challenges and nearly tried to break me. I'm not going to try to predict what 2019 will throw at me, I'm not going to pretend I'll be ready for all of it, but I do know I'm not going to just lay down and take it. So to everyone looking to make forward progress in 2019 lets go get it!


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